victory for those who leave

cant get out of bed
moving back and forth inside my head

and i keep erasing my thoughts
wondering when ill get where i want
or why i am alone
breaking every single bone

trying to get to my heart
where the fracture began
where i call the start
and its a line

but it blurs
somewhere between
"i love you's"
and the curves

of bodies intertwined
the idea of you and mine
trying to get back to that feeling
of loving and losing and longing

the feelings that are haunting
what keeps me up until 4am
open and broken
and lying

yeah, i lied
but you said id be alright.
and im not
so how is everything fine?