ill bet my ignorance is bliss

the paintings on the walls lie
depicting happiness
as if i could have made them

the colors flowing into the night sky
fuck van gogh
and fuck wanting to go

now that this is real
im scared of what i think
so scared of what happens when i blink

is it all moving too fast?
holding still
trying to remain steadfast

but does that really change what i feel?
breaking down
making my heart ill

given the chance
i dont know what decision ill make
when i fall through

or draw blanks
wondering what heartbreak i will make
and i dont know what ill say

when it comes time
to turn myself in
or just stay

give up
and pass away