the things we get caught up in (and the things we lack)

i remember when words meant something
not when we held on for fear of letting go
but because we wanted to
when we said what we meant
because honesty never led to secrets or regrets

but now we're talking shit
smiling at faces
only to turn around and stab them in the back
im not really sure what it is
the desire to fit in where we're not wanted

and i can say it makes me sick
but we all know what the truth is
i make promises more than anyone else
only to fuck them
and ill steal your heart and run away with it
telling you i love you as i take it

ask me where ive been
and how i feel about that
as i pour out all the heart that i lack
because honesty is a burden
the only thing we could handle
and make god damn sure you hurt us

im not sorry
i love you less
when we used to get twisted up in beautiful arguments
and i cant wait to have you over for christmas
because i cant wait to show you i meant it
i never want to see your face again