You can be detached so long that when things start falling apart, all of the real love you feel, starts finally falling together.
And that's why I cant sleep tonight. I'm not crying because you're alone. I'm crying because you're not anymore.
But that's the point, right? To find your bliss and to be happy again when the only thing you've wanted for years was to be with her.
Well, there you go. And although it sucks for me and for all those people who love you, its really great you are where you want to be.
I just wish I got the chance to say what I meant to since the beginning and that is that I'm sorry.
I recognize I have a habit of falling through the spaces between, the distance in miles, and the reception of the calls I could've made, but never did due to the fact that I had the incredibly ridiculous idea that I lacked the ability to procrastinate was only a mere deception.
Also I have recently realized I punished you a little bit for things which neither of us could have ever controlled and that we have both died loving someone who cant control himself yet we never regretted it.
I guess that was a defect in our hearts which we shared.
Again, though, the distance steals memories and it hurts. But I'm not sure what hurts more, wondering if my heart is in the right place or if its the way I curse myself for not telling you everything I needed to say when you could still hear it.
I've been meaning to call you for a couple of months. I know I never got to it and I hate myself for it. But I wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and her, and that for the first time since her death, I cried over her. Over the amazing memories I have with her. Over how much I've missed being able to rely on her when your son wasn't around.
Then I thought about you. Always in the background, but always around. The smell of your coffee at the breakfast table and the way the paper covered your face. And the way you kept my poetry though I was just a baby finding her way. Still writing about love, not realizing the way things fade.
I guess I just really want you to know, that I lied before. When angels forget how to fly, when its twenty below zero on the fourth of July, when violets are red, and roses are blue, I will never stop loving you.
And that's why I cant sleep tonight. I'm not crying because you're alone. I'm crying because you're not anymore.
But that's the point, right? To find your bliss and to be happy again when the only thing you've wanted for years was to be with her.
Well, there you go. And although it sucks for me and for all those people who love you, its really great you are where you want to be.
I just wish I got the chance to say what I meant to since the beginning and that is that I'm sorry.
I recognize I have a habit of falling through the spaces between, the distance in miles, and the reception of the calls I could've made, but never did due to the fact that I had the incredibly ridiculous idea that I lacked the ability to procrastinate was only a mere deception.
Also I have recently realized I punished you a little bit for things which neither of us could have ever controlled and that we have both died loving someone who cant control himself yet we never regretted it.
I guess that was a defect in our hearts which we shared.
Again, though, the distance steals memories and it hurts. But I'm not sure what hurts more, wondering if my heart is in the right place or if its the way I curse myself for not telling you everything I needed to say when you could still hear it.
I've been meaning to call you for a couple of months. I know I never got to it and I hate myself for it. But I wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and her, and that for the first time since her death, I cried over her. Over the amazing memories I have with her. Over how much I've missed being able to rely on her when your son wasn't around.
Then I thought about you. Always in the background, but always around. The smell of your coffee at the breakfast table and the way the paper covered your face. And the way you kept my poetry though I was just a baby finding her way. Still writing about love, not realizing the way things fade.
I guess I just really want you to know, that I lied before. When angels forget how to fly, when its twenty below zero on the fourth of July, when violets are red, and roses are blue, I will never stop loving you.
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