the beauty in believing what you want

what is this madness
affectionately referred to as happiness

but i leave lines empty
to lie between
though i fucking hate the space between

my heart and my head
they never make sense
when i fall through my only defense

the thing about this is
you can fall in love again
while i believe in
it still hurts, even when you win

but thats assuming
we can end
hoping we can pick up
where my heart bends

while i hope you meant it
i can tell youre not in it
and we can fall apart
ill break the pieces myself

and pretend as if
they only fell from the shelf
i want to mention again
i hate those hours in between

when theres too much time to stay awake
but theres not enough to sleep
so i sit in my bed
counting the days i dont eat

tallying
like cuts on my wrists
but admiring the spaces in between