"no one dives like you do"

sweetheart
youre everything i want to be
and i love you
cause i know youre missing me
you never miss the chance
to say youve been thinking
fuck what is pleasing
cause you wanna show me
all the colorful things
god youre beautiful beyond belief

i had to hold myself back
from crying
because though ive read it before
my heart had only hit the floor

i only want you more

and i only miss you
not because of
but inflared by
you saying you miss the blue
speckles in my eyes
god your poetry made me wanna cry

ive been reminiscing
telling stories of the way you kissed me
and on your birthday
i wanna tell you i wished it was me
when you said goodbye
i wished it was me
you were going home with
instead you only leaned in
and told me you wanna break my jaw
god i love you cause you have it all

and remember the night in the back of my car
we were drunk
but i told you i know what we are
and that we cant
always having some lame reason
to hold us back

but why really couldn't i just be with you
i lied so much to refrain us two
and i dont know if this is allowed
i feel so awful saying this now
but i love you too

more than i ever realized
never noticed the depth before
when i looked into your eyes
or maybe i held myself back
had to question if you really felt that way
or if it was something you lack
cause it seemed honesty
only ever came out in your poetry
but i know you know me
more than ideally
but still so lovely
do you still love me?
or am i just dreaming?