thought this wouldnt hurt a lot, i guess not

still dont get how this was my fault
that against every fall
you find i lack the heart
to give a chance to someone
who just said restart

and maybe you saw something that i didnt
that after everything i said,
the past still leaves me unkempt
and my heart is bent
regardless of what he meant
its about what he did

and maybe i put my walls up too soon
but after holding on
for so long
can you blame me at all?

apparently so
but it wont change what you are to me
trying to protect you from what ive seen
and keeping your heart from being thrown to sea

still dont see what theres left to believe
that theres any reason for even a fence to be
and i tried to do what was asked of me
but everything which was needed to be said
has been said since i was thirteen

still just a baby
realized he was drunk when hed hold me
and how much i resent the things he told me
like that this was better than knowing

all i ever wanted for you was honesty
that you could be prepared for the inevitable breaking
the shattering of every maybe
what it would really mean
"not this week"

or any other, for that matter

i know you dont remember
the memories which plague us
you dont get why theyre still tender
or why, in the dark
theyre everything dismembered

but the past lasts
and it may not hurt now
but youll get it back
just want to shelter you from what i had