get lost and then get found

i know ive made a mistake...
recognizing isnt the problem...

and i guess i really cant say what it is
when i only know what i am not
and that that is worth it
maybe im not what i said...

when we say we got drunk to feel nothing
though i did it to feel something
because nothing is sickening
but my heart isnt listening

still not sure what point im trying to make
when every lie i said
was because of a stupid risk i decided to take
and every promise i wanted to break

now im questioning every apology i had to state
wondering what brought me to this state
and if it will change when i get out of this state
and what other convictions ill shed when it gets late

tell me that i needed to get lost before i get found
that everything ive been wishing for
i know nothing about
and that all the lines ive stayed inside scream too loud

but in that night, there was something golden made
like a bridge to something holy
and i got to a place where i could love myself wholly
because i finally got to know me

not just who i wanted to be
but who i haven't yet seen
and that because i lost my conscious
i made a better decision consciously

that who i was isnt who im going to be
and i am more than what you said of me