dont make this easy, i want you to mean it

i dont know
maybe i lied.
assumed feeling something
was better than feeling alright

i remember now things i forgot to mention
thought they could make a difference
so unable to spill my heart that moment
in the intervention

small points were made
where i couldnt make any sense of even my own sentences
and i was fighting the bliss
in proving you caused everything ive found bent

realize now why i was crying
and it wasnt because i was hurt-
you did what i expected-
it was all for her

i thought i just couldnt remember
that past had passed
but something in that day brought me back
displayed all i thought i lack

and finding you in that car
made me hate myself
for everything i couldnt say
and all the stars

wondering if i took it too far
and if i could raise the bar
if i found a way to make it feel alright
that i would be alright

and you would call me next time
because we could find each other on the same lines
but strings broke
and i watched how easy it was for a father to cut the rope

and i meant what i said
that i can fall asleep in my bed
it just takes a little time
trying to find the feeling in my head

cause my heart has fled
every fucking time i get close enough
to knowing, against everything youve shown,
that i am enough