and your voice cracks like a piano

so what happens now?
now that ive pushed
and the strings broke

was it really not supposed to mean anything
or did we just make a mistake?
poorly assume something was made
from the friction i create

i know there were signs i mistook
i guess i liked the idea of everything i lack
thought i could get it back

but the the thing is
what we had is in past tense for a reason
and i spent too much time idealizing what i had been

got caught in all of the demons
and what i thought i could conquer
when i couldnt even face them

hate who i have been...
trying too hard for someone
who would never love me
and trying to be something
i never could be

and thats sickening
the box i tried to fit in
tried to cram myself into something so limiting

hate what i was thinking
and who i was being
had my heart fleeing
from one scene of mystery to one of misery

i think the strings broke
not just that of my connection
but those inside of me

hate what is likely
memories of leaving shyly
and not following blindly
what happened to back bones?
listening and paying attention to tones
knowing who would leave me alone
and how to get home

what happened to that?
wanna get it back

the strings broke
not soon enough
i know i had enough
that i was left rough
with nothing left to love

but i should have called your bluff
smirking like youre so tough

the friction wasnt me
stupid enough to show you the worst of me
and how to make me bleed
how to leave my heart at sea
watching it swallow the whole of me

hope you know that i can be what i really need
took some time but i realized what i need
and in every part of me that used to bleed
i planted a seed