he said we will always be saved.

i want you to grasp what im feeling
but the words, i cant touch
like we're only brushing them
holding onto something we cant trust

i want you to know what it felt like
when the rain was pouring like my eyes.
when i considered drowning in it all
as if i didnt mean anything at all

no one ever told me i was important
i had to figure that out for myself
when one night, i became what i despise
i had to change all the lies

and im still working through it
psychoanalyzing everything
and wondering why i do it
hoping that i can get through this