paint me up something golden

did that really happen?
i think it did
but im not sure of it

i cleared out everything
like the past doesnt exist
but i like to think it did

im still a little unsure
did anything really change?
i told you, but it all ended in nausea

like carrot cake
silky sweet
bitterness

i want to give in
i want to begin
i want to regret it

but how could i?
it never really happened
like a bad dream

i want to forget
but i want to live it again
i want to know why

i was happy then
but now im just pissed
why did i do it?