alive in this bed, alive for the weekend

youre right
im a horrible person
for doing what sets me free

but youre a terrible person
for caging me

i told you i loved you
something never easy
and you just looked at me
said something to the effect of
"i know that wasnt easy"

so im drowning myself in Lydia
hoping ill find some meaning in
"I'm sorry, so sorry. I'm leaving."
i want to forget im breathing

but wait.
what did you say?
just before you turned away?
"i love you too. dont you ever change."

i wish i felt now
how i did in that moment
so heartbroken and so in love
so poetic, but so enough