whose gonna love me when all that liquors gone?

train tracks
knowing then i'd want my body back
and every moment spent there
but alcohol left my head spinning there

we're not who we thought we would be
and certainly not as the past catches up with me
and more realizing that statistically
im exactly what they said i would be

despite everything i said i wouldnt
i thought i knew who i was
but i guess i couldnt

and even more theres always more
i have to question now if it was all a game
because i feel like a score

i heard he got me drunk intentionally
then turned the music up
because sobriety is plaguing
tomorrow when my head swells too much
trying to retrace the steps between his touch

and i remember what i told her
that i hate myself enough to do it all again sober
i should have told him to stop talking
although i lost my head
i knew what it meant to be in that bed

i placed my body there for a reason
thinking i wouldn't get the chance in any other season
and the jealousy got the best of me
so you got what you wanted
and i got what i need
the proof that i damn myself to lack of meaning

and just then the music said i probably got what i deserve
knowing now i cant be hurt
my head hates me
justifying things its not okay to say
i walked the wrong way
after everything my heart can still cave

i should have known i dont have it in me
that its not that easy to get what i want without giving a piece of me
but i want you to know i dont regret it
i just always expect to be stronger in the end
but im like a lost puppy
dont know what to do because sex isnt loving
and not so surprisingly, i didnt win