i think ive loved you better

she keeps asking
how i feel nothing
but the answer is simple
because i cant

because you wont
because it hurts less
if i dont

so i lied
and it sucks
holding onto memories
of love that fucks

so i wont get caught up in
chivalry and beauty
or the spaces between

hoping it will take hours
again before we speak
before you say something else
that makes my knees go weak

and i hope it takes a week
to say the things we need
so i can pack my bags and leave

in time to catch up with traffic
so i can get lost in a mind
holding onto before
when small touches were left at public doors

and i keep memories that bore
too hold myself from feeling
where my heart was tore

what mistake have i made?
giving up perfection
to feel love that fades