faster than your heart was chased

she was right
im so blinded by my own pretentiousness
that i didnt recognize it
when you told me that im missed

but i dont know what caused it
when i dont love you
because everything i ever wanted
was more than this

how could you be so arrogant
to blame the idea that i could never love you
on bad habits
but to me it was just a bad dream

and a worse mistake
to try to force myself into a relationship that never meant a thing
and putting you ahead of me
though you could never do the same thing

insistent that its all in how we're raised
and there was a defect in genes
where morals slack in order to mix with
social means

but i guess thats the difference between you and me
you can shake at my doorstep
while i keep my promise
and you can say that im missed

i wont deny that feeling i get
the regret when i see you again
but id rather move forward
while you try to make your case

claiming that the love was never in the chase
and that we were meant for eachother
and that youll win
as if my heart isnt already bent

but you still dont recognize what went wrong
on cold days when sand castles fall
and take every piece of me with it
you should know my heart was never in it

i was only faking for your happiness
but best friends are targets
and the lies caused all of this
so, yes, ill take the blame

but that doesnt mean anything will change
infact, it reinforces why things should have stayed the same
i should have never kissed you
and i wish i never got the chance to miss you