im a mess when im clean

i wonder how cold it will be
i wonder how long it will take me to drown

that bridge
the memories which cross them
like my mind

my condolences to the bride
throwing herself over

like the circumstances she considered below her
marrying a man who didnt know her

they all died
like what i feel inside

he told me the cracks
i could conceal
just hold back on what i reveal

but i dont want that

a life full of facts
a life holding me back

like that woman had
maybe thats why she did it

because for those few seconds
of gravity pulling her down

she felt important,
necessary

then her body hit the water
and that ice cold sea

tore her from the seams

of perfection
and the idea that everything is always as it seems

how pissed she would be
when he told her she wasnt perfect
because she could bleed

then the water pulled her down
how stupid was she?

to believe that she would float
to believe that she meant a thing