mute

i dont speak up with you
or anyone, anymore
i have only become more mute
sink in then fade out
ive lost interest
for feigning any kind of romanticism

i remember finger tips that meant more than yours did
and its not something im sure i should idealize
when i know it will eventually kill me inside
but im still searching for the same feeling it would give
and you could never make my heart skip a beat the way that it did with him

although i do not compare everything
just the ferocity
and you dull me out
i feel touched on display
miricalized, unknowing

only notice i strain for comfort in silence
i stretch my body from discomfort
as my ribs rise up
you claw for surface
over a body you cannot claim
not when i cant love you that way

you will eventually hate me
when im honest
and beg for empathy
you will remember the way i write
right beside
unknowing and unwilling
to be turned away

but i am indifferent to your dangerous inhibitions
i cant focus on the positive
i so quickly change my intentions
then wait on poetry to make my decisions