winter cold

I just need this knife to pierce my skin the way that you did

But pain feels different when its self inflicted

And i gave you all of me but it was something you never wanted

Claiming im too sensitive

Because i bruise too easily when your words hit

You were supposed to hold my wrists so that my fists could not punish my own skin

But you loved it

In a way you could say

"I tried to save this girl from her own shit"

Then come home and tell me i have to deal with it

Im not enough

And you always knew it

I was an anchor

And the only thing that made me worth while 

Was nights you wanted the softness of my skin

Its sexy when i bite my lip

Because you know its a nervous habit

Displaying my weakness

I stutter up word vomit

Twist my hair

And beg for empathy

What can you expect

That a girl be delicate

After reality had been beaten in

Polite and fragile paper skin

And i chip my nail polish tapping the keys again

People who arent poets always try to relate

Feign interest

Gain conscious 

Then hate me for it

And yeah youre right, i forced it

Im so sorry i loved you too soon

Needed your presence

Any way i could get it

But you used me and punished me in the worst ways

I did not feel safe

It was a quick comfort for me

But to you, i was quick sand

Ill never know who i am