you were hoping for a fairytale

this is not who i thought i would be,
falling for a guy for the way he looks at me.
and what will this do to a person like me-
someone whose heart is already out at sea?

i recognize there are anchors in my past
and hurdles, which i have yet to get passed-
things still dealing with the last:
because repairing is a task

but at least i can say i tried
maybe not enough, but i couldnt have lied
and im sorry i said "no" when you needed to talk
but things cant be cured all in one walk

and honestly i couldnt find the time
to care enough or find words that rhyme
and im sorry love, but theres no more space
for you or for anyone in my masochistic race

but i never understood how you could love me
when you never even knew me
so consumed in what we could be
and so broken when i tried to set you free

we're just kids- supposed to love honestly
not wrecking every chance at honesty
and im sorry that im not sorry
for what we never could be

but you were entranced like a baby
obsessed over every single maybe
not realizing what they would be
the first time i ever said "no" like a lady.

but youre brown eyes show your defeat
not that youre over me
like you always should be
still cant see what you see in me

when i broke you down to a single piece
lying about being holy
and wanting you wholey
when i couldnt even love you part of the way