things that dont feel the same

but maybe i just never was enough
and its okay because we lose who we are
when we lose touch

but its wonderful bullshit, you know?
who they said we were meant be-
knowing it would drag us out to sea

because we always want to believe
that theres something more to me.

i was hoping you just lost your signal. or got the numbers of my number all mixed up. and you tried, but heard i wasnt there. and i cried, but knew a broken body wouldnt be fair.
so what happens from here? after trying so hard, do we give up? i know we lost touch, but i miss your feather touch.

i recognize im holding onto your apologies. thinking the strings will lead me to impetuous things. like golden bodies intertwined in sunken sheets.
but i have a habit of dreaming unrealistically. that raw emotion could surpass those boring things, like emails wishing my best and all the lies that lead.

however, im confused as to how i got to this. fuck politely writing the lists and detailing every bit of conversation.
then i went out of my way to see you again. should have apologized sooner for the rain and the following weekend. hope it ends.

hope your heart bends. and mine will win.
hope everything i never said comes out. and we'll have everything to talk about.
hope im not being stupid. though i know i am...

i know the features blur. and your head swells from all the artificial and lackluster conversations. i know things arent what they seem and people lack extremes.
wanna show you all the colorful things. wanna make you happy. wanna help you breathe.