what is enough?

i keep going back to that
turning it over in my head
pushing toward what i lack

i guess i never knew what i had
until it was gone
regretting the facts

the colors all but blur
blinding me and binding me
as if the sheets were the cure

i dont want to be here
this state makes me dizzy
this state holds what i fear

these picture hurt
bringing back the worst
bringing back the memories

but never my world
you know thats what you were.