so alive

my heart is hardened
i cannot share what i do not feel
but i cannot tell you what you do not wish to hear

but if i keep quiet now
will you listen when i choose to speak
when i decide, something means anything to me

i dont want to hear it anymore
that we're all lacking
i dont want to recognize that we all could be more

last night meant nothing
i couldnt think
about anything aside from
i wont be here next week.