bedroom eyes 11/17/13

i know im leaving
and its only been a month
although far unlikely
i hope you like me

though the depth is still lacking
i feel like you could understand me
i put myself out there
although not forwardly
i want you to know i'll miss you

i was worried before
about time being wasted
and though its something i hated
i realized it was the truth
i moved too slow
to tell you what i want you to know

that i like you
despite what i mean
despite that i lost my bearings
i like the possibility

its not something i choose to admit
god, trust me
its done a lot of damage
more than i can handle
but less of what id rather

home has this sick after-taste
when i told everyone
what it meant to be free
i realized that the chance is unlikely
with chains still tied around me
who i said i wouldn't be
i should have returned with "probably"

i hate the thought of what they'll say to me
they knew i wasn't strong enough
and that they knew i wasn't so tough
but to say that they would be wrong
is a vast understatement to this all

maybe thats why im going back
recognizing more
that this place uncovered
what i hate that i lack

she said she thought it was mature
not knowing that i lied to get more
although never got to why the skin was tore
pointing out whats wrong
but not hearing enough
to know just how much

she said she saw it was piled on
that though i can deal with it
she would hate what it did
when everything i said lined up
pinned against a wall
the sick timeline
cognizant of what it meant to fall

what it meant i lacked
when i was brought back