shaking my teeth loose on your table

and just to reiterate im not who you want me to be

in idealizing, you tore to shreds every honest piece

you only take what you want and spill all the rest

claiming it was a mistake while i plead no contest

but you dont know what you said
between hardly buzzed words
it fucked all my plans
wanting to leave the strings unattached
but finding i'll only be damned
because i cant help but to feel bad

so i warned him
a prerequisite
before i could get what i wanted
asking where you were close
and receiving confirmation
you dont know what youre thinking

stumbling over ideas of me
not seeing the bleeding
or for future projections
where you'll be bending
knowing im not who you want to be
careless is fair bliss
until youre knocking on my door at 3am
and i wont let you in

sleeping in a new bed seems so ideal
but im too young and cynical
to reciprocate how you feel
i have crushes
but none which last any more than a month

so heres where i draw comparisons
knowing without back up information
i'll never win
he asked me if i was just going to sleep with him then bail
the honest answer would have been yes and no
i am who you want until i get home
it probably made him question then what he wanted when he fell
it wasnt me
changing plans to fit the scenery
drunk at two a.m and calling

and again when he said it wasnt right
i was seventeen and drunk
and memories last more than one night
telling me he was leaving in less than a month
but i am careless
some sort of proof he doesnt know me well enough

so here's where you draw conclusions
recognizing the tendencies
and that theres no room for you to mark territories
noticing scars only under bright light
and water hot enough to burn the skin right
bring the old sentiment to the boiling surface
white lines covering legs at night

i know not enough to move forward yet
understand not enough
to say i know what i wanted
im not pristine like baby skin
and i cant cover enough to let you in