I need a distraction- a distraction away from a distraction.
Regardless of what you're doing or saying or the fact that your not doing either tears me apart. I'm always the one to start a conversation and the one that gets the last word. My heart is clingy, but my words are edgy. I don't know what to say when you need me to say something the most and although I say I don't care, yeah, I do: too much for my own good.
I cannot sympathize, theres a barrier I have gained from being fooled. I cannot empathize, I've never felt so- no one's ever come so close. But you deny being in love. Would you really be so hurt if not ? Then you have something that I lack. You have emotion that can invariably be extended from your emotional being, through your physical being, and into the one that causes such a thing.
I wonder if you'll ever feel the same about me. That my departure is hell, and you wished you could hold me against my falsetto contempt. I've never been loved honestly and fully; its always been over one of my multiple personalities. However you've seen more and felt more of myself than any other in an especially short period of time. You've observed my cuts in an unfathomable way, and you've expressed your disdain. But you antagonized the collapse of my heart, and how I wished my breathing would constrict.
I'm a drama queen, tender hearted, and a pessimist. So, when I express my ideas of where we're going (or where we're not going). Don't become upset. Although you enforce the idea that your past made you strong and inevitably decreased your standards, I know you're just putting up a front to push me out before closeness with a girl whom is almost too young becomes an obstacle.
I'm not just a little girl, regardless of my age in years, I understand love and pain, and life and death, and happiness and sadness. I am not fooled by others attempt at deception. I know what play on words will get me furthest and whose feet to refrain from stepping on. I can hold myself up against whats killing me, and display nothing but the utmost of confidence. Although I struggle with an overwhelming amount of self-esteem, self-confidence, and ego issues, I do not let that get the best of me. I'm a whimsical and spiritual being, in the heart and in the head.
I'm not just a little girl, I care about you a lot, regardless of how detached I may seem. Neglect my harsh words, they mean nothing- they're an attempt at seeming more light hearted than I will ever be.