can we just change the subject?

i guess what i hated most
was you avoiding the question
as if that would fix it-
the wondering in my head
saturday night made me miss my bed

and even more the comfort
of someone who knew me more
and who cared
that i wished i was there

and you said i seemed sad.
knew the truth
but that didnt change the facts

i guess i like the absence though,
knowing enough
to let it go
i got over the mystery
despite the fact that it was misery

love you despite what you said to me
the fucking lack of anything
but i know why you were refraining from honesty
cause you didnt want to break the smallest things

just wish that i had clarified
i understand if it didnt feel right
or if youre still tied up in the light
and that i never expected much
just liked the way skin felt under touch

and i get the part where you left me
told me you had to get some sleep
because everything went too far for keeps
fucked the most desperate things
cuddling too close to get some sleep

then had to talk about it
i couldnt just let it go
cause timing has a way of fucking what we know
and misconstrue the simplest things
everything thats best for me

you asked me to tell you all the things i missed
everything which was filled with bliss
but i have to concentrate on the saddest things
cause being happy is too far-fetched for me

and its not like anything said
felt any depth
but i had to hold myself back
the tendency to fall between
already ripping apart my seams
when who we are
fuck who we seem

like that im breaking
im so alright
perfect for my making
as if anything you said
could have tore apart my safety net

except maybe it did...
hate who i am
when i knew well enough that i hid
but forgot to place my bullet proof vest
on over my chest

i knew going into it
that everything i did
would fuck what i actually wanted
remind me what its like to be haunted

but these things ive heard lately
made my heart drop
further than i could have thought

and i have to look back to what was said
read further into it
than feelings bred
tonight im sleeping in a messy head

did you tell her?
in vengeance with a step more
had to rub it in
knowing she had no choice but to listen

you couldnt tell me
because you were also waiting for an answer
whether or not she was worth more

well there you go
you tore apart a person
just to hurt another one