i am cavalier, you could dissapear

you said you dont want to jump
but all the same made the diving motion
towards a died out notion
that anything could be missed between us
missing the point
that my poetry stays as it was

months ago when  i made the decision
days ago when i ignored your mention
"that you know me"
but not recognizing
it was never just poor timing
and that people aren't things to be known
only memories of bodies we'd hold
and being seventeen last summer
i was careless and bold

and careless is meant
as in i could never care less
i know,
heartless.
but making us out to be anything
would be an overstatement
....leave the witness leading

and if you never recognized before
i never cared any more than i do now
questionnaires held only on one end
speaking my mind
ignoring your lines
and even more,
getting pissed
whenever you shared your less than approved opinion
and i kissed your best friend
with the only regret
being that expectations weren't met
and even more
doing so knowing it was your roommates' bet
to tear apart your safety net

so pin me down with all of them
i am who ive always been
but still being doe-eyed at twenty
you had the wrong impression of me