logical/fully-aware

"I'm tangible. You feel me?"
but youre only close enough to be seen
and just enough to know you'll be lost
if i blink
i get what you mean
although not ideally

the gap is too large to jump
and spaces in between
misrepresent what my heart means

or what is okay to say
after a month
of liking you this way
not the same
when the clock delays

i stayed up
as you told me i was beautiful
and you liked me more
although i didn't know how to react
the compliments took me back
always pulled downed by what i lack

"there were holes in you,
the kind that i could not mend"
but you said its easier just to bend
maybe it is
and why it hurts so much more
because the proof is still there
when the walls are torn
scarlet and known
that i was born to be worn

maybe we do spend too much time
searching for ourselves
in someone else's eyes
or worse,
realizing thats somewhere we wont find

but all of this talking gives me a headache
knowing where its going
and its going nowhere
but knowing more: i don't care

four days
or less
because i counted yesterday
but i liked the idea
better than three
rhyming with the way it reminds me
of the tendencies

i make decisions in a panic
knowing if it wasnt in the plan
but i'll do what i can
to get out
anything to retreat
from something which is scary
despite the possibility
it could be good for me

or maybe im only questioning
because of what im missing
or what everyone is saying
that im becoming exactly as i should for my making

but youre only cognizant of what ive told you
bolder now when the distance is miles between
reiterating its best if youre not what i want you to be
if youre only someone to fill the space
to make me feel better
to tie me up like a shoelace