Your first poem

 10 years I wait to retraumatize you

After seeing your messages
With the same kind of yearning
I had for connection,

I knock
And you crack the door
To tell me about your ghosts

I want to hold your hand
I feel like youre someone I should know
But you never let me in
Theres some golden shadow
In your new apartment
It must be different
from the grief weve been stricken with

I tell you I know what I want now
And its not crying in the car
Next to someone who I hope never understands
The reason why
I hide my emotions behind
Thinly veiled sexual detachment
But now I have to try to forget
That you ever asked me what I wanted
And I chose to be honest
And ignore the dreams where I lose my vision
After realizing Id been blind when I had a moment