all the wrong things on fire

you make it like world war 3
pushing and pulling on fraying strings
leave me wondering what you expected from me
you cant be honest and i drag my feet

im struggling to find the light
covering myself when i blink
and every movement slight
holding everything back
so i can struggle to write

half naked,
but begging you to tell me
i mean more than i said all i want to be
a warm body for your empty sheets
didnt realize id find that so troubling
stupid to think i could detach the feelings

i didnt know you well enough
still dont
idealizing what i meant to you
and what it meant when you told me what you missed
hearing in your past all these lovely promises
when i should have just been jaded

youre too open for it to have meant anything
and im too embarrassed to admit im pinned

but maybe this is what i needed
justifying heartbreak as another writers chore
recognizing im just some blurred memory
of thinking with the wrong body part
and when im feeling really shitty
i tell myself you werent thinking at all
some encouragement to net the fall