you keep moving, but where are you going?

so i left, but thats not the whole story

holding onto what it meant

realizing your intentions

and what i wished i would be

weren't totally matching

and conversations proving

there was experience lacking

now poetry showing

i still get hung up on things

which prove how unhinged i can be

knowing i only love you

because masochism is sweet

cutting like you'll never get to me

and pictures sent showing just how balanced

the pictures weren't blurred

proving my hearts' distance from the use of my curves

and i remember lips against skin

feeling as detached as you

too drunk to remember having me pinned

so why did i place so much emphasis

on my own importance

based off of someone who only wanted me

after having been drunk again

you were not worth it

but begging to only remember the positive

despite the experience

you proved a lack of enlightenment

telling me not to move

as if i dont know what my own body is into

but despite barely meeting expectations

i spent my last night in your car

when the alcohol you had ingested should have had you bent over

instead being careless and an idealist

had me bent over

i didnt know what it meant when you said youd write
recognizing our tendencies
the conversations always lacking in backing
but you surprised me again
falling through
as if to reiterate i should fall through you
and over you
prove im nothing new

the numbers stack up
and all barricade against me
sexual experiences i cant beat
but prove youre everything like me in the least
but our bodies are the only way we'll meet
understanding with you, if it is love
then it is defeat