Apparently I write in order to portray some facade of emotion I actually lack

and maybe im incapable of getting what i said back
but you said its alright
that im not stupid
just said the right thing at the wrong time

and i dont know what made me think it was alright
if i felt something in saying goodbye
or if the alcohol made my head swell
so much that my heart fell

and i made a poor decision
in telling you that i feel something
but at least i was honest
and so were you, when you said we were beyond this

and that youre sorry, but im not it
that you didnt know what to say
to make it feel okay
that you dont feel the same

but i want you to know its okay
that i get it
that i missed where i fit
because im incapable of letting anyone in

and im surprised those words made it past my tongue
that i let myself do this
let it surpass the drumming of my fingertips
then told you it was something that i missed

and even though i told the truth
i held so much back
told you i wanted to be friends too
because of the courage i fucking lack