the shadows on my scars

there's something to be said about losing

its hard
crashing
like waves
or sinking
like fog

i don't know what he meant by
"you don't even know yourself"
but it seemed harsh

hard like hearts
when i couldn't feel the same way for him
i knew him
too well

i loved him;
though not enough
to stay

so why am i questioning
whether he was right?
i know myself
like the back of my hand...

at night

pitch black after sunsets

i disregarded the staged net
i fell hard
hoping i could break it
only to realize it wasn't there yet

like my ability to move on...

i was lacking
a band aid
something to keep me safe
as i lied to him and myself
i never meant it

but now its too late