chainsmoke my words

i am in love with the ability of this beauty
when i miss a girl
she used to wrap her leg around me
as we would sleep

god i remember melting
i remember my eyes deceiving
not seeing beauty in me
despite her begging me to feel reflected
in eyes i beg now to remember the color of
just the softness of her skin
tanned, i remember glowing in flame
and her turning my radio up
enough to dull pain

i tried to reconnect
but instead felt belittled
which resulted in refrain
i do not fit
where i used to
not on her childhood bed
in the room i would throw rocks at a window above

she wrote about me
it still gives me butterflies
the same way she did
when we would read our favorite poetry
she would say this reminds me

i would feel suffocated as she laid beside me
but for some reason tonight
im searching for the same feeling
i remember only she could give