refuge

three months and im still getting the hang of this
remembering when i held my feelings in
before you could give me the spins

ive never felt so loved or in love
at first feeling uncomfortable
nervous to tell you a week in
but now comfortably lived with
not soon after,
id never be the same again
and at the same time i still get butterflies
when i see those eyes i swim in
you are more than i could ever imagine

i still miss you
in between the few hours we're apart
begging for it to end
hating having to imagine your arms

i still want you wrapped around me
even as im suffocating
begging for some sleep
but finding it difficult
without you beside me
it takes me hours in bed
i cant ever rest
cuddling air where you should be
daydreaming repetitions when you say you love me