if you desire proof

I grew up questioning doubt
I learned to question faith
I chose to question love
Because everything I ever questioned
proved to keep me safe.

I never chose my battles
each encounter led to one.
I never chose to speak my mind
it came naturally.
I resented that,
now i question my own motives.

I tried things
because I desired maturity
because of that,
I became something I regret.
now I question my own morals.

I proved I lacked subtlety.
I proved I lacked faith
and went against fate
when I chose my path.
And now Im recovering.