mommy

sometimes love hurts
when you cant help
the one who you
love the most

i want to make everything okay
to be able to just hold you
and say everything will be okay
and it could be true

remember when i was new?
you felt so complete,
so whole
with eyes like baby blue

and every child before and after
you held these new born
arms and legs
and never felt more

i wanna hold you like that
like a baby
because you said its normal
to want, to need some

but when you need
you think of me
but i want to think of you
to put you first

to show you what you deserve

no, we never catch a break
but god put us together
so we could never need a break
so we could work through fate

and grow stronger
our bond is pure
our bond is yours
our bond is more

than our problems
and shortcomings
we'll make it back to
angel wings

"when its broke and you say theres nothing to fix"

finally hit my breaking point
breaking the silence
finalizing the score
because i know youre always hurt more

no more bottling it up
let it go
find some trust
i need to let go of my cuts

the timings off and i forget im lost

is beauty really only skin deep?
because im feeling like i could sleep.
knowing i could never again see the worth in it
wondering why we ever thought it was gorgeous

and im seeing with clear eyes
realizing what i never thought i could realize:
i love you but i love me more
i love bleeding but i love being more

like sick euphoria
beauty is whats flooring you
what makes you fall apart
and what cures you

and i know it hurts more
but ive always wanted to
be a wave, hit the shore
you know ive always loved you more

"I know you need to see the world, but come back when you can."

im cutting away at the past
breaking away from what i lack
encouraging what i pursue
and everyday, thanking you

in breaking my heart
you showed me something i never knew i had
made it visible,
progressed the strength that i have

and made me realize
that i am more than what i lack
and ill finally be able to show you
when you come back.

For my love.

I have a friend, a beautiful girl with fiery red hair and the most amazing green eyes I've ever met. She's a good girl, a dreamer, a lover. It's a damn shame she doesn't know it, that the small flaws and insecurities keep her fragile heart awake until the middle of the night.
But I love her, as well as so many other people. I find beauty in the small things, the mood swings, the smeared make-up and the heart breaks. She reminds me that perfection isn't what we ideal it to be, its the miserable things, when the timings off and we wished we couldn't breathe. And when she makes it through, when we all do. She pulls it together for the new days and keeps her mind and heart open for the what comes her way.
Just so she knows, when she feels like she couldn't make it through another day, I'll be there for her, for my favorite girl. For my best friend. I hope this never ends. I love you.

"pretty simple, but sweet in my head"

like sugar was fed
i never thought i could
love what was really
inside of my head
like happiness was bred

like sweetness was said
and i couldn't imagine
another tear could be shed
like light was finally met

i dont think i could dream
this feeling
its like time is no longer
for the killing
and, maybe, ill finally be willing

this music is healing
this sweetness is kneeling
this time is off
but who cares?

im taking a chance
i dont care if im winning.

surface pretty

forgive me for wanting to skip the bullshit
polite conversation is meaningless
i wanna get deep; endless

like a sea, my currents bring me back
to my knees
questioning how i feel about the afterlife

what will i get from life
what do i know of mine?.
i know that im morally a good person

theres no doubt about that
by my standards, but
i dont know if by others that means anything

i mean, i dont believe in angel wings
i dont belive that i could sing
to someone i cant see

and if hes there, hes seen me on my knees
hes seen me bleed
hes seen me cause these things

he knows i could never let him take control of me
but i dont know if the fact that nothing ever will
could ever change that i could never give him anything